The D-Bag Daily

Random thoughts on people, places and things.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Witnessed two female patrons fight over the last of some laundry detergent on clearance for $1.99/each. First woman arrives at the bay and starts loading up her cart - another one comes barreling down the aisle with her cart. Chaos ensues.

"Das mah favorite detergent, for REAL." (Antoine Dodson style)

Also thought I'd been shorted a bottle of diazepam while checking in the controls from our shipment. Later found it in my pocket when I went to grab the CII key.

VERY weird day.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What a bunch of garbage...

Came home from a long day of work to find that, despite it being garbage day, there were no empty garbage cans to be found. None. Zip. It soon dawned on me that they'd all been blown away by the furious I spent my afternoon walking around looking for them.

Found a couple bins 1/2 mile across the subdivision, but none of them were ours...

And then came across a gentleman fishing out more cans out of the pond across the way...where mine were floating.

Pucker Up

I love me some Jersey Shore, and Snooki is my favorite. But WHAT is with this pucker-lip look in all their pictures? I wonder if these people know how ridiculous they look when they do this forced pout...

It looks stupid, so just stop. Smile for the camera!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

RN = Registered Nurse = Really Nice

Overall, I do have a lot of respect for the nursing profession. I've poked fun at nurses, as I've run into some RNs who are know-it-alls or just plain frustrating. But...

...after a recent stay in the hospital, I have to give you guys props.

You have MILES upon miles of patience. No matter how irritating or unreasonable the patient is, you still smile and offer them service and act like it's your pleasure doing so.

I don't know how you do it.

I was a "fall risk" at one point during my stay, and was not allowed to go to the bathroom without assistance. Aside from the fact that my bladder is the size of a grain of rice, the doctors were ordering ridiculous amounts of IV fluids. As a result, I had to pee (literally) every five minutes.

And every time the nurse or assistant came to answer my call, they did it like it was the first time I'd pressed the call button (when it was really the fifth time in the hour).

I won't even get into the things they had to do for my roommate.

You (Don't Always) Get What You Pay For

Has anyone noticed that, despite ongoing recalls by McNeil for Tylenol (and other) drug products, people still seek out these items?

Granted, the nature of some of the recalls were not due to bodily harm - just a funny smell - but after months of ongoing problems, you still insist on using the brand? Because it's...well, the brand??

I'm Baaaaack

Hopefully, I'll be posting more often. If not, well...tough.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Cell Phone Whores

Most of my regular customers are wonderful. Kind, pleasant, loyal, and they keep us in business. Even the ones that are a PITA from time to time are tolerable and at the end of the day, I really appreciate them.

However, there are a few regulars who get under my skin for one reason only: they can't seem to pry their cell phones from their ear. In fact, one lady has YET to come into the store and complete a transaction without talking on her phone.

I understand that there are some phone conversations that can't wait - your daughter is sick at school, your wife's car broke down, etc. But picking up the phone in the middle of a transaction with a conversation like this could probably wait until you pull away from the drive thru:

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Ohmigod, you HAVE to tell me what you want for your birthday...NooOoOoo...I HAVE to get you something! SERIOUSLY, though...honestly, it's coming up SO FAST!!!!"

You know what this says to me? It is your desperate cry for attention; an outward message to the world that whines, "I'm important! LOOK! I have people to talk to!"


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

No Wonder!

My brother-in-law went to Dunkin' Donuts the other day and had a 50% off coupon for his order. The lady must have been new, because instead of taking 50%, she initially took off 50 cents. When he pointed out the error, she went to ask another employee how to take the 50% off.

She came back and pressed a few buttons, took the 50% off and BIL was on his merry way. Today, he showed us the receipt.

Now we know why we always see squad cars there...

Hi! My name is...

...NOT Slim Shady.

When I am browsing in the breakfast aisle at the grocery store, it's hard to concentrate when you walk back and forth with your pen and pad of sick lyrics and rap out loud.

I know you're a lyrical genius, and one day you will be discovered, blah blah blah. But not here. You will not be discovered for your ill flow in the middle of the grocery store! I know, I'm just another hater sippin' Hatorade.

So, please - just pick a frickin box of cereal and rap somewhere else.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Now, SHE could use some benzos...

This weekend I had the pleasure of donating blood at a local drive. They had trailors set up in the parking lot where the techs were working, and a registration table set up inside the lobby of the establishment who was hosting the blood drive.

Flash forward to me sitting in the lovely recliner in the trailor, as I'm being drained of the red stuff. A middle-aged woman starts her way up the stairs of the trailor and opens the door. A few words are exchanged between her and the technician, who pleasantly told her she needed to register and obtain the paperwork in the lobby first.

You would NOT believe the tantrum she threw. Out of nowhere, I hear SCREAMING! She was pissed because she didn't know where to go. "You guys really need to get your act together! I don't know where to go! Why don't you put some signs out! This is RIDICULOUS!"

Granted, I didn't know where to go when I pulled up in the parking lot either. But wouldn't common sense tell you to go inside of the shop who is sponsoring the event, and, I dunno...maybe ASK someone? Just sayin'.

I hope she got the technician she bitched at. HELLO! NEVER scream at the person who is about to stick you with a needle...

These people...what has happened in their lives that they have to be so angry at the world? Chillax, people.

Monday, January 11, 2010


Have you ever noticed how tampon boxes report their absorbency?

The side of the box has the levels of absorption listed, but what gets me is how they are classified. For example, "Regular" is defined as 6-9g of fluid. What normal person knows how many grams of flow they have? I realize they need to define this in some measurable, quantifiable way, but is it really necessary to put it on the box? I don't stand there in the drug store and go, "Yeah, let's see...I shed 6-9grams of endometrial lining. That's about right!"

But then I got to thinking about my experiences in dealing with the public, and the ridiculous things that people will complain about. Some idiot probably called and complained that she bought the "Super" and it wasn't enough, or whatever. (Hi, do you not know when you're leaking?) So now, when you have an incident due to the failure of your feminine products, you'd better know your facts (in grams) before you go calling and blaming Tampon, Inc!

Not So "Daily"

Just want to say sorry to the few readers that I have, for not posting quite that often. Feeling a little blah lately, and uninspired. I promise I will try to write more frequently in the coming weeks...

Sunday, January 3, 2010

You're a Dick - Here's Your Meal, For Free

We had carry-out for dinner tonight at one of our favorite Italian restaurants. The pickup area was empty with the exception of a man and his son on the bench. I proceeded to check in with our name, pay the bill, and the young woman told me it would be out in a few minutes. Shortly after, the man approached the counter and acted like a complete jerk to the girl, sarcastically asking if toasted raviolis actually take THIS long to cook, etc...

She politely went to check on his order and apologized. When she came back, she had his food in hand and the manager by her side, who comped a large portion of his carryout bill.

I sat there thinking to myself a number of things: a) I'm glad I gave her a tip; b) There are much nicer ways of inquiring about the wait time of your food; and c) Our culture has taught us that we are rewarded for acting like a shmuck. Whine and scream, be a little bit more pushy than you need to be, and people give you something to shut you up.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Now It's a Party

Last night, a group of about 5 girls in their late teens came in together. They were going back and forth between the condoms (which are in a locked cabinet) and the feminine products. I overheard them several times saying, "Just ask the pharmacist." Oh, joy.

They finally approached the counter and blurted, "We need seven tubes of KY Jelly!"

Uhmmm, sure let me get that for you.

"Don't worry, it's not what you think. We're going to a party."

That does not make me feel ANY better!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Here's a Head-Scratcher!

Either business at the store is really slow, or the people I work with are nuts.

I walk in today asking the usual, "Hey, how ya doin?" and THIS is the response I got:

"Well, I ate a dog bone today!"

You did WHAT?

"Yeah, Jess brought in some chocolate-covered dog biscuits and said that someone gave them to her daughter. I TOLD her they were for dogs, but she didn't believe me. So I ate one."

I just don't know about these people...